You must have already guessed what this blog post is about by reading the title and the comic. Well, in case you haven't, I will discussing about a phrase which is used very frequently, "that's what she said".
How many times do you hear this phase in one day? Specifically, let's talk about students at KCI or your friends. I can honestly say that I hear this phase at least five times in a day!
"That's what she said", is a phrase which was used in a show called 'The Office'. When a person refers to a she, they do not mean a female in specific, but any women. Here is a little example if you still don't understand:
Two students are at a shopping mall to purchase a Prom dress. One is a girl and the other one is her boyfriend. The girl tries on a dress, and from the dressing room she says "it's so big!" Soon after, her boyfriend replies saying "that's what she said". In this case, the girl is referring to the dress being a large size while the guy, is indirectly referring to something inappropriate (hope you know the meaning of this)!
Coming to the main point, why is always "that's what SHE said"? Why not, "that's what HE said"? I still wonder why it always has to be a she, which implies that ladies are the only ones who are capable of such behaviour? This specific stereotype is used in many TV shows, movies, and even in real life. As we discussed in class, aren't men the one who are more horny than females? Men cannot control their actions/thoughts towards females so why are females used in this phrase?
Here is a video from 'The office' where phrase got its popularity from: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ccdu8yZIanM&feature=player_embedded#at=39
Here are some questions which can be discussed:
- Is this phrase just a joke or is it offensive? Does this phrase relate to inequality between the two sex's?
- Are you aware of any other phrases/quotes which are along the same lines as this one?
- Why is it always a she? Why not a he? What about individuals who do not specify themselves as a male or a female? Can this phrase be a result of homophobic people in our society who try to disregard homosexuals/queer people?
I think that this phrase is not offensive. To be honest, I use this joke too. I think that some jokes however, can go too far. This phrase is over used, however I do not think anything of it. I personally think that this joke is hilarious and I do not think it is at all offensive to women, unless your a feminist. I do get what Heli is trying to say about people who do not classify themselves as male or female but I do not think that this is what the joke is trying to imply. And to be honest I do not think those people would even care. This phrase has become so common amongst society.As Heli said it even originated from a TV show but this again goes to show how the media seems to play a big role in the way we all act.
ReplyDeleteIt is simply a joke that at the right moment can be funny. This joke can also be used with a "he" however, it then is to be seen as gay. For instance: "Time to take a shot!" Reply: "That's what HE said!" So if a person is gay they might take offense to that however, I do not think anyone really cares too much about this phrase.
To touch upon homophobic people in our society trying to disregard homosexuals, I do not think that this joke, like I stated before, is implying such thoughts at all. I think this joke is just supposed to be an innocent funny phrase that a TV show uses and people in society have taken it too far by over using.
I do agree with Alysha about the fact that it's just a joke. When used at the appropriate time as well as with the right people, it is kind of funny. But in contrast to our opinions I think that this phrase may degrade women as well as probably homosexuals, depending on what was said. By saying "thats what she said" it seems like they are justifying men's manliness in defining clearly what is desirable to the man. Using the example Heli gave us, when someone says "it's so big" and then hearing the that's what she said (TWSS) phrase, it seems like its degrading women in which it shows that this is what women should say. People saying TWSS are just extenuating men's egos. For me, I sometimes think its just annoying. For example, this one time when I was hanging out with my boy cousins, everything that was mentioned would always end up bringing out the phrase. It seemed like that they were targeting not only me but women in general. This was in a way like 'point your fingers' and laugh at a girl because thats what she said! It's like diverting the attention to the women to what they say because it makes men look good and it plays in to what men think is desirable. Where ever its said, I think people should use this joke in discretion as it could put some people down.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with what everyone else posted. I haven’t heard this quote “that’s what she said” used as an offensive term. I have used this line before several times. I never thought of it as an offensive way. But I do understand where Heli is getting this idea from. If you do look at it in dept you will find that it is being used against women, but again as Alysha said, if it’s used in an appropriate way in which you intentions are not to offend another gender then I guess you could still use it.
ReplyDeletewhat I do not agree with is the fact that some people take this to extremes and actually use the phrase to offend other women. I think that is unnecessary. If this phrase was and is used in the proper place it is like a joke and is not considered offensive, but obviously kids in KCI hallways use this phrase everywhere and anywhere. People really need to stop that and understand what the sentence really means.
I agree with all the comments listed above. I just want to mention that when the phrase "no homo" was newly introduced, it was also known as a joke. No one really took it seriously. Gradually, it became more serious because it hurt's someones feeling about their sexual orientation.
ReplyDeleteBringing this to my main point, I think this phrase will also turn into something like the "no homo" phrase. Even though it's funny and used in a joking manner, it will soon be looked at as more seriously. Even though it is not taken so seriously, feminist's and social scientists who study discrimination will defiantly look at it in another manner. Everything starts off as a joke before it becomes more serious and hurts one or the other!
Sageena here!
ReplyDeleteFirstly, let me say that I hear this phrase many times in a day at KCI as well.
To answer the first question, I believe that this phrase can be used as a joke and as an insult.
When I have friends, esp. guy friends, say this phrase to me, I do not take any offense to it at all because I know they are joking.
However, phrases like this slowly degrade and insult women. It doesn't start as a "big thing", but something as subtle and submissive as "that's what she said". This is also related to the "no homo" phrase and the “that’s retarded” phrase. At first, they were used as jokes and subtle phrases, but later they grew into the worst offences that you can use/hear.
To answer the next question, I believe if a girl says, "That’s what he said”, they are seen as sl*ts and b*tches. When a female says this, they are seen as dirty and that they engage in many sexual activities. This is because our society portrays men as “cool” when they have many girls, and women are not supposed to be this way, but have one man in their lives. Also, I do not believe that it’s a phase used to offend homosexuals at all. It is just used by people, esp. guys, in a joking way.
This was the first time I had ever heard about such thing! I think Alysha is right, the joke funny at appropriate times, but overusing it is just annoying! However, on the contrary, I think it is actually a good thing. This can be a great way for homosexuals to come out. Then they won’t have to directly tell anyone that they are gay! It’s such a simple and short way of saying “I’m gay” while avoiding any awkwardness. I disagree with Sageena that if girls say “that’s what HE said” will make them sound like sluts, because they could be talking about one partner and not necessarily different men.
ReplyDeleteGreat points Mursal. I just want to mention that why is using a phrase "that's what she said" an excuse for a homosexual person to break out of their shell? Why should they use such a discriminating phrase to identify themselves? According to the comments, I thought this should just be used as a joke.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Sageena is mentioning about using this phrase towards a male. I don't think it will make females look like s*uts or b*tches. In fact, I think it’s a way to tell the opponent that females can use this phrase towards them too. Why should only males have the right to make fun of females? "That's what she said" ... Why should homosexuals be made fun of? "No homo”... How about considering the opposite, "That’s what HE said", "No HETERO".
Heli, I'm completely lost, you say you agree, and then you comments are of disagreement...
ReplyDeleteHowever, if you do disagree, my comment is:
I didn't say that only guys had the right to use this phrase, or guys are the only ones who could use it. I am saying that when a girl says it, it doesn't have the same effect as when a guy says it. For example, if a guy "sleeps" with many girls, they are the "pimps" of society. They are seen as cool. When a girl goes around and "sleeps" with many guys, would she be considered cool? I’m pretty sure the answer is “NO,” unless you can provide examples for otherwise. They are seen as sl*ts.
Therefore, I still agree with my point that when a girl says, ‘That’s what he said,” they are seen as sl*ts and b*tches, because it implies that the girl engages in sexual activites with (a) guy/guys When they say this phrase, guys, and even girls, look at them differently!
Sorry Sageena, I was a bit wordy!
ReplyDeleteI meant that you are right. It's true that girls are seen as s*uts and guys are seen as "pimps". But when we look at it, when guys talk about sleeping around with girls, it makes them look ‘cool’. They think its fun and entertaining to sleep around. On the other hand, a girl cannot open her mouth about sleeping with a guy because she will look down upon as an s*ut. Isn’t that just sad? Did anyone ever think that guys would be considered ‘cool’ if it included sleeping around with girls?
" That's what she said" a term that i use very widely and this is because it puts a smile on your face and or the other persons face. Most of the time the term is referred to women because in our society it is said displayed as women talking a lot and when she makes love. In my opinion the reason why the this term is not male oriented is because males are portrayed as being the strong one or the ones that bear everything.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, this term is used just make the other person laugh. Even though I had a friend who said it every other sentence which got annoying. Also see some girls who say it too. I never heard anyone use this term to show that men dominate women. The reason why I think the phrase "that what he said," is not used is , not because men are better than women, its simply because its not popular.
ReplyDelete